I always dread of this moment to come.
The moment of not knowing where should I head off next.
How did I get here.
In 2015, I decided to make an attempt to compete in world class WBFF show.
The trick is that I must win the qualifying round of local show.
Knowing that my physique had improved a great deal from 2012 (the year of life after six packs) to 2015 (the year I got addicted to compete in physique show), I visualise that I will win the local competition in the coming years.
I must say that I am a dreamer so I dream big. Perhaps, it is too big sometimes that it takes more than I can give in an unrealistic timeframe.
Like the six figure income I hoped to achieve in the first 3 to 5 years of my fitness career. It never happens because things do not always happen linearly upward in Plan A. It took Plan Z to keep me from homelessness after many setbacks.
In the case of my competition, I placed 8th two times in a row before I dropped out of Top 10 third time around despite my improvement because line up in the competition gets much stronger each subsequent competition.
Not placing better in the competition is the moment that I dread of. The reality of not placing better but worse with more efforts and sacrifices that I put in to prepare for the competition hits me hard like a knock out punch in a UFC match. It is something that will cast doubt in my pursuit to compete in professional level of competition and it will take me a while to get over.
Should I keep going? I guess stopping will not do me any good in the long run. I love training with a set goal. However, I need to re-evaluate my goal because short cut is not what I will take to get to my goal even though I will do everything else to get there.
The question is “Is my goal realistic?”.
If not, what is my goal? Perhaps, I should just aim to put on as much size as possible in my weakest body parts (front delt, chest and quad) within a bigger timeframe. It might be a good idea to not compete in 2018 and see what I could bring to the game in 2019.
After all, I did bring my best physique to the show. My walk was in general better than the last 2 competitions. Competition just gotten a long stronger than I expected. Besides, I got some genuine kind words and compliments on my physique from people who seen me growing from competition to competition.
Two years break. What are the advantages of that? It is not just a bigger timeframe to be more realistic in putting on more mass but also gives me freedom to work on things like hand balancing, calisthenic skills, swimming skills and Olympic lifting skill to achieve my other goals – Crossfit Masters Games, Masters Powerlifting, Masters Olympic Lifting or even the Olympic in my 40s.
I am a dreamer and I dream big. Big dream takes patience.